Monday, April 20, 2009

Do I have a Soul?

Finally moving past my Mormonism I am really trying to grasp those questions that have plagued the ages...Where did we come from? I understand the basic plan of evolution. But where did organic life, even just on a cellular level originate? Hmmm I don't know why this bothers me so.
Then the second thing that is on my mind is what am I. Maybe there just isn't a answer to that question. Is there anything inside of me that isn't a product of environment, genetics, birth-order and hormones? I want there to be part of me that makes me special. You know "Daughter of God" type stuff. I have been racking my brain looking over my life and all my choices trying to find some desire or goal that was completely me and not some indoctrination or natural desire. I try to talk to my DH about this stuff and he will not discuss it. He says none of it matters. In in a sense he is right, knowing or not knowing isn't going to change anything. He believes in a God, but he really doesn't say much. He finally has seen what the LDS church really was and for that I am grateful.

I feel an empty spot inside of me, the spot where faith, religion and a sense of knowing your place in the universe. I am open to any ideas, and it this point would love to hear how others have made peace with these subjects.

Can anyone recommend any good books or authors that talk about these types of subjects? I tried looking online but the quantum physics really are way out of my league of understanding.

Where did it all begin?

I have been watching a lot of science shows on tv. I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the theories and physics of it all. For me to try to imagine the boundries of a Universe and the beginning of a universe is too much for my poor brain. Then they are just theories, based on the small amount of knowledge that we have aquired in our short human history.

What is really bothering where did all organic matter originate? I just can't seem to find something that 'makes sense'. I have looked into religion and found nothing there...and yet the scientific community can't answer that either. I hate to think I will die and cease to be. But with the small amount of evidence and from what I remember before birth that is what awaits.