Finally moving past my Mormonism I am really trying to grasp those questions that have plagued the ages...Where did we come from? I understand the basic plan of evolution. But where did organic life, even just on a cellular level originate? Hmmm I don't know why this bothers me so.
Then the second thing that is on my mind is what am I. Maybe there just isn't a answer to that question. Is there anything inside of me that isn't a product of environment, genetics, birth-order and hormones? I want there to be part of me that makes me special. You know "Daughter of God" type stuff. I have been racking my brain looking over my life and all my choices trying to find some desire or goal that was completely me and not some indoctrination or natural desire. I try to talk to my DH about this stuff and he will not discuss it. He says none of it matters. In in a sense he is right, knowing or not knowing isn't going to change anything. He believes in a God, but he really doesn't say much. He finally has seen what the LDS church really was and for that I am grateful.
I feel an empty spot inside of me, the spot where faith, religion and a sense of knowing your place in the universe. I am open to any ideas, and it this point would love to hear how others have made peace with these subjects.
Can anyone recommend any good books or authors that talk about these types of subjects? I tried looking online but the quantum physics really are way out of my league of understanding.
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It was hard to wean myself from wanting my life to have cosmic importance, to be special in a universal sense. I'm okay now, though I think it was just a matter of time. Now I'm just happy to have a chance to be alive. I'm happy to be intimately connected to all life on earth in a way that I didn't feel when I thought I was a Child of God rather than part of the big family. So, I guess I eventually stopped feeling that loss of the glorious fantasy.
ReplyDeleteShell,
ReplyDeleteI thought a lot the similar questions as yours. Those are really valid questions that every human being is to seek answers one way or another. And I have finally found anwsers to my satisfactory in Baha'i faith. But of course you don't have to agree with what I've found. Here are links for you to investigate for yourself:
http://william.hatcher.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/philosophy_spirituality.pdf
http://william.hatcher.org/media/audio/the-causality-principle-in-the-world-of-being
Please come to visit my blog and we can discuss those questions in depth.
With Warming regards,
Le