My Exit story...from 2007

I just have to share my story because there is no one else but your guys who will understand. My history is that I come from parents who went to Ricks College and then to BYU and were married in the Salt Lake temple. They were the True Blue Mormons that did 'everything' right. My Mom after 21 years of marriage and 6 kids left my Dad and the church. So much for all those weekly family councils, family home evenings and family scripture study (don't they promise protection of the family unit?) At first I was horrible to my Mom, I had a bishop flat out tell me that the church has to weed out its unfaithful and my mom needed to be weeded out. Well I was married shortly after that for 10 years.

My husband and I were active but we didn't attend the temple as often because of its far distance from our home. But other than that we did all the motions of a typical active mormon family. In October of 2005 my DH got very busy with work and had to be out of town every other day. He met a 21 year old hotel clerk (who happened to be mormon) and had a brief affair with her. He chose our family and it took a lot of counseling to put us back together. What hurt me was what the Priesthood leaders told me:"You are to forgive him now or as quickly as possible"I knew I needed to forgive not just from a church standpoint but for my own mental health. But I thought it needed to be on my own time.

So as I am working on forgiving, one night I was doing Internet search for forgiveness and adultery LDS (I think those were my search terms) and I stumbled upon some information on the 'Pearl of Great Price' that Revelation shook my core. But I wasn't ready to give up. I fought and fought to prove to myself that the church was true. But reading the Book of Mormon just made me have more doubts. compounded on that was a Stake president that was "elected" and it almost sealed my fate. The stake president is a bad/dishonest business man and everyone knows it but says...what he does in his business doesn't reflect upon his holy calling??? WHAT?????

Anyways here I am I still am wearing my "G's"(holy garments) and I want out of Utah so bad I cry. Luckily my DH is on this same road of discovery too. I try not to say much because I feel it needs to be done on his own. I am at a loss what to do. I live in a small community if we leave the church we will be shunned. I don't know about my kids I want them to be taught charity and kindness but none of that judgmental stuff.I am lucky that both my parents will support me with my choice...but my DH won't be so lucky with his family. I really don't know where to go from here.