Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Families are Forever....ahhh *Insert warm fuzzies*

Its how they hold you hostage. I would say for most of us our families are the most important things. Sure in our youth we think everything but our families. But as we grow up we find that family truly can be a source of joy. The LDS church did a lot of 'hostage' type scare antics with me. One year we just didn't have enough; food, money or time. When it came time for tithing settlement the Bishop said even though we had tried to pay tithing we needed to pay a full tithe. They told us it would be best for us to go and get a LOAN to pay for the tithing owed. Can you imagine, but here is where they get you. He asked, isn't your family and 'fire' insurance worth it?

I think my Dad feels really bad. For so many of his kids have left the LDS church now. He will never get the 'family forever' that the LDS church has had him sacrifice for. Yet he doesn't give up, because the church/lord/god/prophet have all promised that if he is obedient and follows all the commadnments his children will come back.

Family First its the LDS motto, but when you live an active LDS life its not always the case. After serving in several leadership positions I can tell you family did come first but at a cost. I like several of these personal insights from www.postmormon.org

  • Yup, Mormons are ALL about the family.

    In Joseph's day, a man could have as many families as he wanted! How's THAT for being a family-oriented church?
  • ALL you have to do to see your children get married is pay 10% of your gross earnings to the monster billion-dollar enterprise that is LDS, Inc. and you can watch! What's more important than being at your child's wedding, for crying out loud? (Of course, if you DON'T pay the money, you'll be waiting outside while everyone ELSE watches your child get married. Isn't 10% of all your money worth it to see your happy child dressed in the robes of the Priesthood and a bright green apron on their wedding day?)
  • As long as you line up and do exactly what the church tells you, you can keep your family happy with you. Don't ask questions, don't think for yourself, and whatever you do, DON'T leave the church, no matter what! Because then your family will pitty you, or shun you, or preach to you, or disown you, or cry when they see you, or send the missionaries to hound you, all because they want their eternal family and YOU f***ed that up.
  • The GOOD news though, is that men get to call all the shots in the family! That's good, because he holds the Priesthood, and knows what God wants. Make sure you never leave the man in your life, though, because HE gets the kids in the eternities. And should you do something REALLY stupid, and marry a non-member, then not only does your Priesthood holder exhusband get the kids you had with him, but he ALSO gets the kids you had with your new husband! Isn't that great? Because that way, your kids will be sealed to a CELESTIAL family who can be together forever, rather than your miserable Terrestrial family that is over when you kick the bucket.
  • On Sunday, God needs the husbands/fathers to serve in a variety of inane capacities, and keeps many of them busy for up to 8 hours on the Sabbath. That helps to ensure their righteousness! And you benefit from having such a righteous husband or father who is out blessing the lives of the sick and afflicted and widowed and the really HOT YW President who was recently divorced and who requires a great deal of succor at the moment. Nothing keeps a family stronger than having the man of the house gone all Sunday.
    It's hard for me to conceive of a church that is more family oriented than the Mormons...

(This was by Peter_Mary)

1 comment:

  1. ahhhh yes families are forever-- what a crock and how sad that it holds so many hostage. I keep asking my family which family they are supposed to spend eternity with- the one you grew up with or the current one... and then there is my brother who is married for the second tine and THEIR kids are sealed to his wife and her FIRST husband since their sealing was never cancelled.. yep families are forever